~ibu nuha naim hakim~

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this blog is not for you to read....but for me to write... i am me....let me be myself....just the way i am....

Monday, October 28, 2013

Hati ibu



Tidurlah anakku....
Lena dalam dakapan ibu...
Takkan selamanya ibu akan di sisimu...
Tapi ibu harap....
Nanti saat ibu lepaskan jemarimu...
Kau telah cukup ibu siapkan....
Tabah untuk menghadapi dunia dan isinya...
Gagah untuk melawan arus masa...
Dan...
Teguh bersama Allah di jiwa....


-NZ-
1.47pm
281013




Ps: terima kasih Allah...atas pinjaman bidadari kecil dari syurga ini untuk aku....

Monday, October 7, 2013

dilemma

i'm a woman....i'm a wife....i'm a daughter....i'm a housewife....and now....i'm also a mother.....

such a dilemma i had inside my mind these few days....(weeks or months maybe)

i am a wife...and i am a mother....that is my priority now....my job is for taking care of my husband, my daughter and absolutely my home.....i like to do that....or....shall i say i lovee to do that? i mean to do all the house chores....to taking care of my family.....but....it don't come with any income.....no money....no wealth....of course my husband will give me some every month....but to ask everything from him is really make me feel uneasy....i want to buy anything i want with my own money.....i want to gain everything i want by my own....

and here comes my dilemma....i want to work....i want to get a job....i want to earn some money for my family by my own.....i want to buy anything i want by myself....i want to make myself useful for everything and everyone i have....i don't want to be a burden to my husband even he never feel or say me that.....

then step in my family.....for them...it is a great disappointment if i'm not working and just stay home as a housewife....as to them i am the smartest among all...(not my say....just their opinion based on my exam's results)....and for i am a degree in actuarial science graduate.... and they want me to be independent woman who not too depend to my husband and many more.....

as for my husband.....he is not rejecting the idea of me working....he respect me if i want to help him raise money for the family....but...he also come with some conditions.....no job of 9-5....find the job with much day leave....don't do job like this....and that....and so on....means no office work...no banking or insurace industry....and easy to say...he wants me to be a teacher.....


but to be a teacher nowadays is not as easy as before....i mean technically....for i am no degree in education graduate......God.....can i find any job that can satisfy everyone in my life?


i just can sigh when someone posted on facebook... 'surirumah adalah pekerjaan paling mulia di dunia'....'duduk dan berjimat menguruskan rumahtangga lebih baik dari berkerja dan membazir' or when i read newspaper that stated 'working parents is the reason of all teenager's social problems' an so on.... i don't deny that....plus...all the statement is indeed very true.....


but...with all the high living cost today....with all the raising price tag for petrol, food, health maintenance and all living necessities... i surely cannot just sit and see my husband working from dawn until night to earn money for my family......ohh....can you feel the frustration inside me?

and....here is my greatest nightmare.....when i see nuha's pure face....oh....my heart melt.....and it started asking....'can you let some other woman raise your child while you're working?'...'do you want to have very limited time for your child for whole of your life?'....'don't you want to raise up your children by yourself?'...........isk....when i see her face,then the answer is absolutely NO......


Allah.....give me the best solution as You never let me down this whole time....please.....i want to make myself useful....i want to satisfy everyone that i love....i want to help my family...yet....i want to taking care of my family for all my life.....




i really asking You the best solution for all....ya Allah.....ya sami' ya basir......
 

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